What Really Happened
by Jesshiku-chan
Summary: Random stories about ...well... what really happens in Naruto. So read if you want to learn the truth! Really funny! Please read! Chap 1: How Sakon and Ukon became one.


**i do not own Naruto...yada yada...**

The sound 4…er 5….whatever, were situated around a campfire. It was rather late and the sky was already covered in a blanket of stars. A certain red-headed flute playing kunoichi eyed the five ninjas sitting around her. Sakon was seated to her left, followed by Kidomaru, Jirobo, Orochimaru, and then Kimimaro (in a circle, so Kimimaro was at her right.)

She had just thought of something to say after quite a long time of boredom. You see, they had kind of run out of scary stories after…well…Sakon's and Ukon's surprisingly morbid story about cheeseburgers coming to life and taking over the Earth. But you don't really need to know about that…

"Hey guys, listen up."

Everyone ignored.

Tayuya grabbed her flute and played a really loud, piercing note that resonated for miles.

Everyone listened .

"Tayuya, what the heck was that for?!" yelled Sakon, having gotten the worst of it since he was closest to her. Kimimaro…well he sort of just…sat there with a blank expression on his face.

"What's wrong, Kimimaro dearest?" asked Orochimaru.

Kimimaro merely fell over.

"OH MY GWARSH! You killed Kimimaro!" everyone shouted in unison.

…..silence…

"Yay!" cheered the four original members of the sound…er…four.

"NOOOO!" wailed Orochimaru.

"Guys," cough, "I'm still alive…"

Everyone stared at Kimimaro…

"NOOO!" complained the sound four.

"Yes!" exclaimed Orochimaru.

"LISTEN TO ME!" shouted Tayuya.

Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at her. She looked around, and seeing that she had everyone's attention, she nodded her head and said, "Thank you."

Snore…

"OH MY FREAKING GWARSH! Kidomaru, if you don't wake up in the next five seconds I'm going to claw your freaking eyes out!" screamed Tayuya.

"Eepers! Okay okay! I'm awake!"

Tayuya shot him a death glare and opened her mouth to say something but…

"Tayuya, you're kind of scary…," mumbled Sakon.

"Bastard, shut up! I'm trying to tell a story here! And also…YOUR FACE is scary! Ohhh!"

"…What's wrong with my face…?"

"Oi, am I suppose to assume that you mean my face is scary too?"

"Sakon…Ukon…there's nothing wrong with your faces…I was joking…"

"So does that mean you like m—our faces?" asked Sakon, his face lighting up like a little child's.

"Yes…maybe...no…sure."

"Oooo! Tayuya's blushing! Tayuya likes Sakon! Tayuya likes Sakon!" chanted Kidomaru.

"For the love of-- ARGH! How immature can you be?!"

"Apparently…they can be very immature," answered Kimimaro, crossing his arms and closing his eyes in a very "cool guy" fashion.

"Uh…guys…can I just tell my story now?"

Silence…

"Okay then, once upon a—"

"Tayuya, do you really like me?"

"Oh my gwarsh…shut up!"

"Children, children, now let Tayuya tell her story."

"Arigato, Orochimaru-sama," thanked Tayuya, letting out a sigh of relief.

The red head opened her mouth to start her story…

"This better be better than Sakon's and Ukon's cheeseburger story…," warned Kidomaru.

A vein popped in Tayuya's forehead and she was about to yell, but decided against it.

"Yeah…It is better…and you will see when I tell it," she growled through clenched teeth.

"Can you just tell the story already?" asked Jirobo, "I'm not getting any younger."

"Hey, I just noticed…that's the first thing you've said in about an hour," said Sakon.

"Who cares what Fat-ass says?! Can I start my story?"

"Go ahead," they all said simultaneously.

Tayuya glanced around and waited…waited for the interruption she thought was coming. However, that interruption never came so she began her story.

"Ahem…Well, you see, I'm going to tell you the true story about how Sakon and Ukon ended up like that," she informed, pointing at the brothers.

Again silence…

"Like what?" asked Kidomaru.

"Yeah…what are you talking about, Tayuya?" asked Jirobo.

Tayuya studied the group's faces to see if they were actually freaking serious. Surprisingly their expressions were that of genuine curiosity and confusion.

"You know…the thing…with the two heads…," she explained, even elaborating with hand motions.

Everyone stared wide-eyed at Sakon and Ukon.

"Oh my flipping gosh! He does have two heads!" exclaimed Orochimaru, bringing his palms to his cheeks in dramatic fashion.

"How did that happen?" asked Kimimaro, "I always wondered…"

"That's what I'm trying to tell here, shit-bags!"

"OOOOOOO! Language!" chanted everyone but Kimimaro.

"Notice how she was the only one to use language this entire night…?" asked Kimimaro.

"Guys…I would like to entertain you now…"

"Egad! Now you're a freaking prostitute?!" exclaimed Sakon.

"Wow, you really misinterpreted that…," said Tayuya.

"So, that's not what you meant?"

"NO!"

"Awwww!" moaned Sakon/Ukon, Kidomaru, Jirobo, and Orochimaru.

"Oh my gosh! You freaking perverts!" yelled Tayuya, jumping to the nearest tree branch.

"You can come back down, Tayuya, we were just kidding," explained Kidomaru.

"Who said anything about kidding?"

Everyone stared at Orochimaru.

Crickets…

"You know what… I think I'm just going to tell my story from up here."

"It's okay you can come down. I'll protect you from Orochimaru!"

"What the freak! Sakon, where the hell did you come from?!"

"Well…you see…my mom and my dad…"

"Oh my gosh! Okay stop talking right NOW! That's so not what I meant!"

"So just tell your story…"

"Fine," the flute minstrel replied, jumping off the branch and landing perfectly on the ground where she was previously seated. Sakon followed.

"Okay, you see…There once was a boy named Sakon. There once was a boy named Ukon. They were twins, therefore they looked almost exactly the same. They were ugly as hell—"

"OI!" shouted Sakon/Ukon. Everyone else laughed.

"Okay, just kidding, shit-heads," she coughed to clear her throat, "Well, you see…Ukon was lazy, and I mean _really_ lazy. I don't think anyone ever existed who was lazier than him. He was the king of lazy…"

"Okay, we get the point," stated Jirobo, rolling his eyes. Everyone nodded their heads in unanimous agreement.

"Gwarsh, shit-heads…Anyway, one day, Sakon and Ukon were walking, and Ukon said, 'I don't wanna walk anymore. My feet hurt.' To which Sakon replied, 'Okay then, just climb on my back.'"

"Awwwww, how cute!" cooed Orochimaru.

Everyone stared at him…again. You could hear crickets…again.

"I mean…er…continue," the snake sannin said.

"As I was saying, Ukon climbed on Sakon's back, but decided holding on was too troublesome. So he was like, 'Hmm…If only there was some sort of way to merge our bodies…' Does anyone know how they could do that?"

"Er…melt?" guessed Kidomaru.

"Surgery?" asked Jirobo.

"Have sex?!" shouted Orochimaru.

Everyone stared at him…yet again.

"Er…No, no, and NO!" answered Tayuya, "Obviously they used—"

"A special justu," finished Kimimaro.

"Exactly. So, they did a little research and learned of this justu and decided to try it. It worked and about two days later the only thing Sakon had to say was, 'Well, this really sucks!' Now Ukon gets to sleep all day and night while Sakon is forced to carry an extra head on his back. The End."

Silence yet again…

"Okay, that was the most suckish story ever," complained Kidomaru.

"That's not really what happened you know," stated Sakon.

"I'm not lazy," mumbled Ukon.

"I'm hungry," declared Jirobo.

"There were no snakes in that story," whined Orochimaru.

"What a complete waste of time," said Kimimaro.

"Aww shut up, shit-heads. At least it kept you entertained," reasoned Tayuya.

"Yeah, that's what you think," they all mumbled.

"You know what, how about I play you guys a little song…," she smirked as she picked up her flute…

**lol. that was a nice story right. the story that Tayuya told was actually made by my friend, Kimi-sensei (user on fanfiction, also) You see, we were at a waterpark and my other friend, Shane, wanted to know why Sakon had a head sticking out of his back (he doesnt watch naruto) so Kimi told him this completely random story ...except she used the term "magical techniques" because Shane didnt know what justu was. It was sooooo funny, so i decided to write a story about it. lol. actually we spent the rest of the day telling other random stories so i might write about those too...**

**sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes... **

** Hugs and Kisses!**

** Jesshiku-chan**


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